Birthdays always mean somethings to your heart, as much as you don't want to admit it. And every year, as I approach my birthday, I can't help to wonder what will take place on the actual day. This year, the same thoughts lingered in my mind.
6th Oct is a date I do treasure.. The number 6 is always special to my heart. Some say it is a number of the serpent, some say it is a number of man.. I will choose to believe the latter. It is a number that speaks of man's weakness made perfect in God's likeness..
Last Wed, my children Pastor celebrated with me over a simple but intimate lunch. We have a good one in Royal Copenhagen in Taka.. and I spent some time alone in my spa manicure, and taking down thoughts over the past year, esp the past months' occurrence.. The joy of good memories made me drop a sms of my reflections to a dear pal of mine, and unknowingly, my pal misread my intention and a happy sms turned into a disappointed note.. before I could even wonder, came another call from another pal, that she had confirmed breast cancer... it was a birthday seemingly filled with disappointing news.. and a part of my heart was really down, and while I was driving around in my loss... somehow God quicken my spirit and reminded me, Hannah you have a choice - to have faith and pray through for yourself and your pals, or you can choose to mourn over yours and your friend's current situations.. Life is full of choices, and what you choose to believe determines the very destiny in your life.
On that day, I chose to pray, to praise and to rejoice. I attended the church prayer meeting and rushed to the hospital later to encourage my pal. I went back home decided I choose to forgive, I choose to let go, I choose joy over sadness, I choose love over hatred. I choose God over self.
Last night I watched the movie : Eat, Pray & Love.. and I was inspired. Two things I came back refreshed. The author help me to realise 2 truths :
- Ruin is not always disastrous, sometimes it is a gift. It leads the road to transformations
- Sometimes to lose balance in love, is to find balance in life. When you thought that loving someone causes you to lose yrself, to lose your balance. Unknowingly it is the beginning of finding the real meaning of balance in life - i.e. to let go, to trust God, and eventually trusting yourself.
Today, I found a new strength, a new freedom and energy. I received a call from my pal : her cancer is controlled, and there's no signs of cancer spreading to any part of her body, the scan reported. I made a call, and was happy to know there are new openings and new business opportunities. But most important, I received a prompting in my heart : God is in control, Hannah, it's time to let go of the past, to explore the unknown future and wonders together with Him. This is life - it is filled with journeys of the unexpected, the discovery of life in many expressions.. so we can continue to eat, pray and love. Life is beautiful, I love life, and I want to live the best of every moments.