An unexpected season...

Have stopped blogging for a period of time... I believe many wondered. And mainly Dec has been an unexpected month for me. My granny passed on in Dec.. She was sent to hospital in the midst of 2 huge weddings setup for us. Even in the midst of her being critically ill, I have to remain strong and calm for the weddings of my clients in Dec, and even on the day of her last memorial night service, I was at another wedding. Within a week, she was gone, and to me, that was the most unexpected occurrence for the year end. I have never expected the grief that I would have been going thru this season. Christmas and New Year was painful to pass by.

I have not rested nor have the time to really grieve over the loss. In the midst of the grieve, we still had to remain happy to be the miracle worker for our clients. To the Chinese, it is not auspicious to talk about death in the midst of preparing a wedding. And as far as my clients, no one really knows about granny's death. In the midst of turning other's fantasy to reality, my heart sank deeper.. it is an irony I could remain strong and resilient as we planned the events. Demands for the weddings always grow intense near the day of the weddings... sometimes, you wanted to react to those unreasonable demands for many are results of paranoid behaviours. Though it's pardonable for couples to behave these ways (since it is their one and perfect day), but for you to remain sane in fulfilling those demands amidst the emotions within, I think it is a miracle.

And yet the last few weddings setup were one of my best works so far, esp the day when my granny was critically ill, and I was seeing one of my amazing transformations. My florist said to me, this is almost like Preston Bailey's impressions.. I couldn't smile.. because for that moment, it is no longer important, my beloved was critically ill..and nothing mattered then... all I want was a miracle for my granny. But it did not happen.

As much as we knew she's in Heaven... I know not when I will stop grieving.. it was the first time I actually detest my job... and may God help me...


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